clean linen

All too quickly, we are at the second last day of 2015. What was the year like for you? It definitely zoomed past for me. It saw me moving into many new phases... the milestones that come to mind right now would be starting, and then finishing Pre-Marital Counselling; every cell meeting that I led in word discussion or worship or games (yes I would consider each meeting a milestone! haha); the addition of a new associate to the law firm; going to Bangkok with Eugene, his mum and sister, then getting proposed to there; signing for our wedding dinner banquet location; submitting the booking for our church L2 auditorium... the list goes on. God has been with me each and every step of the way in 2015. I know He is never going to leave my side so it is a given that He will continue to be with me in 2016, which brings even MORE changes that will probably be the most major in my entire life. To 2016 (and hopefully more regular blog posts)!

"She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night." This year, I feel like the word for me is "push". I am to push for things to happen, for people to move forward and grow, for things to come together or be put together. But when do I push and how do I push it? I don't know. Only God can tell me the when, where, who, how, and why. So in the meantime, I am going to keep close to Him. I am going to keep moving, and keep growing. In whatever I do, I want it to be profitable - where not only I benefit, but the people around me, especially those who are "in" the "trading" I am doing, increase and grow and develop. And this is not going to be a once-off thing. Like the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31, I am asking God to teach me how to plan and to use my resources such that I will not burn out midway. I will last the entire night. He will keep me topped up, and my lamp will keep burning. Dear God, I com...

Every year, I always get this strange feeling that's somewhat like realisation but not quite, when the New Testament passage for the day in the One Year Bible is Revelations chapter 1. We are really and truly into the end of 2013. 2014 is fast approaching!!!

I was taking a break at work by scrolling through the Home page on Facebook when I saw a friend share this article -  http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/myth-perfect-dating  - and it caught my attention because I had just been talking to a friend the night before who had broken up with someone about a month ago and she is still recovering from the heartbreak. And the reason for the guy breaking up with her was that he needed time to focus on his studies and it was wrong if he had time for a relationship but no time for God...:/ Then I clicked on another article in the same website and I think it was most interesting, so I thought I'd just share it here:)  http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/stop-waiting-him-ask-you-out

It's my second last night here in Hastings. Day 18 is at an end. This morning I woke up feeling a bit like the holiday blues was just starting to set in. The return back to reality was fast approaching, and for a moment it made me feel so unsteady and uncertain. But it was just for a moment. Tonight was a night spent by myself, just finishing up the book 'How to Stop the Pain', reflecting on the trip and looking ahead to what was waiting for me back in Singapore, in reality. Blogging for the past few days of my holiday will and have to wait! Tomorrow is my last day in Hastings. God, I want to let it count and let it be the best day of the holiday where I have my greatest encounter yet with You!

As a result of a skype chat conversation with Weiping last Saturday night, she lent me this book at church on Sunday. It's a novel (Christian chick lit, whoo! haha) on a lady called Daisy. 10 days before her wedding, her fiance told her he didn't love her enough to marry her and called the whole thing off. This book centered around how she recovered from this experience and how she came out of the whole thing to find love once again. And when I say to find love once again, it's not just love in the romantic sense with another man, but what really hit me was how she encountered God's immense love once again. That, to me, was the more important find for her. That was the bit that hit me somewhere deep in my heart and got me all teary-eyed, not knowing why I was tearing, but claiming that it was God working something in my heart because only He could make me tear up so mysteriously like that. One of the main characters in the book was a catholic priest Daisy called Fath...

I'll blog more on this as soon as I bring myself around to doing it, but since this morning, this song has been ringing in my head and just deep within me: I love because You first loved me A sinner saved by grace You exchanged Your blameless life for mine A debt I can't repay I don't deserve Your favour, still You love me without measure Your love is reaching me And I'm responding to it Your love is changing me As I surrender to it I'm holding nothing back I give You every part My soul has been released Your love has captured my heart "

I spend the day walking the dog, making sure the dog doesn't make an even bigger mess of the ground floor, writing letters, and finishing the bible for the year. Last year, on 31st December 2010, I wrote that I want to be gentler and kinder with my words in 2011. This year, on 31st December 2011, I just want to get through 2012. I'm hanging on for dear life, God.

At 1pm today, my last lecture as a Law Student ended. Now begins about 3 weeks of a study break before the Part B exams begin on 28 November. 17 weeks of Part B classes have really passed by super quickly! Although the first half of it felt like it was passing by really slowly. Once the middle portion of it was over, it just kept speeding up, until, I suddenly find myself here, at November. At my last lecture ever as a student. If I ever attend another lecture, it'll be in the capacity of a "working adult". Thank You God for bringing me through the past 17 weeks. It was really great getting to attend classes and hang out regularly with my friends who graduated with me from University of Nottingham. LET THE MAJOR PANIC-MODE STUDYING BEGIN.

I marked 5 June 2010 as my "homecoming day". I went back to the UK in July and traveled for something like a month before and after my graduation, but that was just a holiday. So, it's been 471 days since I returned to Singapore for good. It's been over a year now. Time has passed by quickly. My sister and Edmund are actually celebrating their 2nd wedding anniversary with a trip to Taiwan, which put me in this "mood", haha. And then the last day of my Part B classes is 3 November 2011. 45 days until the last day of lectures. Then it's 3 weeks' study break before exams begin on 28 November 2011. My last exam is on 9 December 2011. Then... I wait to start work. Again, time has passed by quickly, which I see as a good and bad thing. I'm going to start work soon:( Time is increasing the distance between my present self and my Nottingham life:( Yet, with each passing day, it further cements the fact that Singapore is my home, and, generally, I...

All this while, I tell myself and others that a public blog is not a place to be depressed and emo all the time. I make a conscious effort to be positive, appropriate, in my entries. For this entry, I ask your forgiveness for being completely negative and completely inappropriate. I'm just tired of being "the nice one" or "the patient one" or what appears to be "the mature one". For once, I'd like to be the bitchy one, the resentful one, the spiteful one... And I'm gonna let it out here, just this once. Not many people read this blog anyway, and I want to be real and honest and open with all these negative emotions I'm battling with. I may regret putting this out in the open, but, say hello to the Ugly Lynn Ern. Also, the last birthday mail was sent out to him today. To me, it marks the very last thing I do as a girlfriend to him, and I am determined to move on and live a life without him that is way better than the times I had with h...

On 2 September, General turned 7 months' old! To commemorate such a special occasion, we gave him jelly meant for dogs (which I'm quite sure humans can eat too). To General, he didn't think anything of it and just ate it all up. Because he will eat anything you give him. I took this shot on Sunday (4 Sept). The toy you see below is something my helper, Miming, 'invented'. She used a big plastic bag to connect 4 of his toys to form 1 'new' toy. General gets bored so quickly with his toys, Miming is always trying to think up new "formations" so that he will become preoccupied with these "new" toys! General has been a wonderful companion to me. He's still teething, so he still bites. And in his excitement and hyperactiveness, he still jumps and can scratch with his nails. BUT, he loves companionship. With a bone in his mouth, he would come and lie down next to me, with his body leaning against my legs, so that I can pet him and feel ...

Just last Sunday afternoon after the 11:15am service, pastor Mike Connell very randomly said, "take photo take photo!" Quickly, I whipped out my camera from my bag and passed it to Joanne, who took this photo for us: It was the most random thing ever, but I'm so thankful for it. It is a memory for me, to remember a wonderful pastor like Mike Connell. It's a pity I didn't get a photo with him AND aunty Joy. They came at such a timely moment of my life, only God could have arranged it for me. I really wouldn't know what I would be like now if God hadn't intervene like this through the Connells. It has been 1 week. I really want time to move faster now.

From 4 May to 3 June , I had a little series of mine. It consisted of 31 photographs of things/people related to my life in Nottingham over the past 3 years. I have 5 photos leftover though, and I want to post them now just to make use of them, and part of remembering while moving on. #1: Sainsbury's triple chocolate crisp cereal I think it was hz who first introduced it to me, and from then on, I had it every day for breakfast. My bowl of cereal was something like a deluxe cereal, with 3 kinds of cereal inside - 1, cornflakes. 2, Coco Krunch. 3, (wondrous) triple chocolate crisp cereal. Yum, I really did enjoy my breakfasts every day when I was over there. Makes me want to eat some now! #2: my "nemo plate" My cousin, Aileen, gave this plate to me when I had first arrived in the UK to study. She was packing her house in Birmingham, in the midst of moving back to Singapore. This plate has stuck with me since then. And when I started cooking for myself and eating more Indo...

Every semester, there will always be a poster sale at school. In Year 1, I bought this poster mostly because I wanted to add some colour to my room. It's been with me ever since and it's been pinned up in my room at Florence Boot Hall, my room in Broadgate Park, and now my room here in this house. There's nothing too colourful or cute about it. But I guess when I saw it, it just reminded me of how I was like one of those penguins about to take a step off the cliff and into the deep blue water. And I also thought of Corinne May's song entitled "Fall to Fly". If you want to fly, you need to decide to fall before the wind can catch you and lift you higher. Be bold, and take that step. In faith, take that step.

This verse has been pinned up somewhere in the rooms I stayed in over the past 3 years. I think it may also end up on one of the walls in my room back home in Singapore. To me, this verse is a good reminder for me of how I should work hard not for men, but more for God than anything else, even more than working hard for myself. As for the "cheerfully" word, I just had to emphasize it because I've definitely had my emo, negative periods, and this word helps in the motivation towards something more positive within me. This is not just emotions talking and/or an exercise of positive thinking. Hard to comprehend or actually believe for some, but we should have faith in this unseen God who is alive within us. Blind faith to you maybe? But I'm holding on to my faith anyway.

It has been a great honour and privilege for me to be able to lead a small group with John Gell (Mr JG!) these past few months! I'm really thankful that John is really nice and easy to work with, and we got things done!:) He also always offered me lifts home after small group meetings, and I will never forget the one time we decided to borrow Kieran's keyboard for a worship-prayer night we had at small group. The keyboard was a little too big, and John's car a little bit too small for the keyboard. It was fun! Anyway, when Leah first emailed in June 2009 to ask me if I would like to become a small group leader for the school year of 2009/2010, I really thought and prayed about it long and hard. Eventually, I said yes to it, and I entered the 3rd and final year of my degree as a law student, a worship ministry keyboardist, and an Impact small group leader. And I survived. My grades haven't particularly suffered. And I still have time for myself, for friends, for family (...

It has been a few days since I last blogged, and I apologise for my absence. Many things have happened, and I have been putting off blogging until today, now that my Trusts Law tutorial and Mental Health seminar is over for the week. To the people who have sent me encouraging words as a result of reading my recent entry about how my results received last Thursday were particularly disappointing, thank you. Your encouragement and concern meant the world to me. Well, while the results of the essays are still disappointing, God more than made up for it by the biggest, once-in-a-lifetime surprise on Monday, when I got back my Family Law exam results. So, if you want to read about this surprise, read on until the section on Monday:D First, let me start with my weekend of 'moping', which really wasn't full of moping and negativity. Rather, it was a weekend of overeating and meaningful time spent with friends. And, did I say that I really over ate? I seriously ate ALOTALOT. So, Ly...